Warm at Last
by Ekaterinn
It was so cold. He hadn't thought it would be so cold; he had thought he'd become too chilled in heart to notice any effects on his body. The water rose above his neck, as he sunk, so slowly. Time seemed suspended, his seconds like hours. He heard a wolf howling in the distance, though he had left Dief far behind. He heard his grandmother's voice, reciting poetry after grandfather's death, " 'Not, I'll not, carrion comfort, Despair, not feast on thee'. One must not give into despair, Benton". He heard Ray Vecchio whispering to him on the post's telephone, his voice strained and cryptic. The water crept up past his lips and he let it fill his open mouth, freezing his tongue and brain, wanting suddenly to have it done, done.
Forgive me, though I surely I do not deserve it, he told them wildly, The heat, it was never enough. I am greedy, too gluttonous by far. The water came up into his nostrils, quickly now. He shut his eyes against the pressure.
At the last second before the darkness closed in, he felt the water grow less cool. And then he thought he heard someone come splashing towards him.
"Fraser?" a voice asked, sounding worried. "It's okay now. I got you." Then quieter, almost desperate. "I got you." He could feel strong, able hands grasp his shoulders. He blinked his eyes open, and Ray was staring at him. His Ray, and not the one who had been laid out in the coffin, starched up in a too-formal suit. His Ray, with his spiked hair and clunky bracelet, and, God! beautiful, beautiful eyes.
"Ray." He said at last, his voice cracking, "Oh, Ray, Ray, Ray..."
Arms wrapped around him then, and he was enfolded in Ray, breathing him in, instead of the icy water. And Ray was saying over and over again, "I got you, I got you, I got you..." and he brought his head down to Ray's lips, and covered Ray's mouth with his own. Without hesitation, Ray reached up and twisted a hand in his hair and pulled closer, like they had done this thousands of times. Heat blazed through him, and he thought his heart would burst, filled to the brim as it had never been before. The water and the ice were gone and light was blooming around them, and Benton Fraser held on to Ray Kowalski, warm at last.